pretty kool

so...i now have a job.

tis true.

i now work at t-shirt plus at the mall.  i start tomorrow at 1 and i get off at 3.  so if you wanna do something afterward...lemme know.

next weekend is my cousins wedding...glad im finally gunna meet the girl who's marrying the only cousin of mine that i like. 

um...

thats really all thats goin on.

hope and i are kool again...shes actually the reason why i have a job.  yay!

anyways...

im gettin offa here.

bye kids.

goodness

GOODNESS I LOVE YOU PEOPLE.

i had a deep talk with someone i havent really talked to in a while.  and i feel so much better then i did before.  it feels so good to be able to pour your heart out and have someone understand and forgive you for the trespasses.  so to God i am recommiting myself.  i lost touch and i realize...that is what was making me so sick.  i know not everyone is a christian and im not at all forces my views by posting this...im just really happy and feel so much better then before.

in other news...i got to hang out with kolin and kortnie...and they remain my best friends.  i hung out with ivan and matt lately too and they are snazzy people as well.  there are tons of people i miss though...kyle...tristan...daniel...jay...hannah...etc etc...the list goes on...i really wanna see you guys...

i did however see my brother today...it really is good to have a brother...specially wen you can sit and chat about practically everything. i love him...its true.

if anyone wants to hang out anytime soon...holler at me...id love to.

well hi guys...

it's been a good while hasnt it...it has.

well...its cause i dont really get on this thing anymore...or myspace really...i just honestly didnt feel like it anymore...so...i deleted my myspace...

in all honesty though...ill most likely get a new one at some point and narrow my friends list down to a cool 100 or something...only to people i actually talk to etc etc.

i got to hang out with kolin and kortney the other day...but i felt sick (i gotta cold) and fell asleep in kolins moms bed at like...10 30...im a loser...but i woke up with a blanket on...so thanks for takin care of me girls. i love you two.

i really need a job. i feel bad for my parents paying for all my stuff all the time.  it makes me feel...not so almost adult.  ya know?

i went to the TN Ren Fest yesterday...and sweated to death...with haley. and my cold got worse...which sucks...it was really neat though. a lot of the shows were really funny...i saw my friend ben haley...rays brother...and he most likely didnt know who we were...but he hugged us and thats all that matters  

theres a blues festival or something like that goin on at cent. park tomorrow? sounds like a kool deal but i dont know if i wanna go. specially not just with my dad...so...friends...holla if ya wanna go with.

i need to wash my car...as much as i hate that thing...it still bothers me wen shes dirty.

dirty, dirty, evelyn.

alright guys...

love you all.

bye dears.

here i go again...run away while theres still time...

although my life is is near perfect right now...i still can find the minuscule bad things...the ones that DONT matter the slightest bit...or at least shouldnt...but they're the same ones that come every so often.

the same feelings of failure...the same feelings of rejection...the same feelings of "give up now" of..."you dont deserve that...you dont deserve him...its all TOO good for YOU." feelings of..."youre lucky to have made it this far" "its amazing God hasn't whiped you off the face of the earth yet".

pointless dreams...WASTED TIME...thats all it is...and i know it...so...i ask myself..."self...why do you keep these bullcrap dreams alive? what are you trying to prove? If you KNOW its not goin to happen...why? What is the point?"  and you know wut...i dont have a single answer...not one...or if i do have one its..."because sara...you're pathetic...a waste of carbon from the earth"

and i hurt people...most of the time i REALLY do NOT mean to...but i do...and again...and again...and i dont stop myself...i still act the same way...and then...i get mad...because some people...want a lot of time with me...or i get sorta jealous wen other people want more time with someone else. 

and i get mad wen i cant give people everything i wish i could...it makes me SO MAD. if i could i would give everyone EVERYTHING. and i wish i would treat people equally...theres some people...that i admire SO MUCH...and others...i cant find ONE good thing about...and that breaks my heart...

theres so many things i could name in this blog...and itd probably only be half...so im sorry for the already wasted time.

FIN
Kittie

merry christmas and a happy new year!!! uh...so...

i went to jessi's house on the 26th...round about 6 something... in the pm. then we went out to eat and went to the mall for a bit...then we came home...packed her bags...went to sleep for about an hour...then got up at 4 15 and took showers and finished packing.  then we drove to the airport and barely made our flight.  we went to VA and stayed at jessica's aunts house.  twas quite fun.  just call me...designated driver. lol...jessica knows wut i mean lol.  um...new years we went to a SUPER lame party where daniel was falling all over the place b/c he was so drunk...and we went home and hung out with nick and jonathan for a few minutes...went to sleep...woke up...ate...left.  blah blah... then last night round about 7:45 we were on the flight back home. we got here at like...8:20...(theres a one hour difference...) uh...i tackled mom wen i saw her...i missed her so much.  uh...so basically...i went home...and layed on my bed.  i had a lot of fun in Virginia but i was really home sick...im sorry i was a grouch there for a few days jessica.

uh...

i love you.

kay.

bye.

FIN
Kittie